Insert One Credit in the Fountain Blue
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: Yes, I know it's a weird title, but this IS Pani Poni Dash. In this three-part story, Ichijou is acting funny, and Becky and her students examine what is wrong with her. Lots going on, including something that the Pani Poni series has NEVER done. Rated T for language, mild violence, and brief nudity.
1. Chapter 1

(Lord Cat appears from the vending machine)

(Lord Cat): It's the morning of a new day, nya.

 **XXXXX**

At Momotsuki Academy, on a brisk Monday morning, on a summer day, a girl with long brown hair and in a braid, in her blue cardigan and a yellow school summer uniform. She was sitting in the bench, outside, as she was quiet. As she was still sitting, Ichijou's little sister, a miniature version of her was beckoning to her, showing a hand-drawn picture of the sun, on a notebook. Ichijou was still sitting on the bench, as the little one was worried about her. Suddenly, she started to stand up, as she said, "I feel refreshed. Time to go."

She walked, as Ichijou's little sister signaled to her, but was completely ignored. As she walked, Ichijou's sister sighed, as she pouted, "Hmph!"

Ichijou went to class, as two girls walked by, noticing her, acting strangely.

A girl with short orange hair and red glasses, wearing a green cardigan and yellow uniform, was confused, "It's not like Ichijou to act this weirder. Did she just turn down her sister's offer?"

Little Ichijou flies up and bonks on her sister's head.

 **BONK!  
** Ichijou fell to the ground, as Miyako gasped in horror, "WAUGH?"

Ichijou was facedown, and was out cold. She suddenly started speaking gibberish.

"My enamel is itchy algae. Welcome to paradise ampersand."

Miyako thought, as she was scared, "Uh… That's not normal!"

Ichijou turned to her sister and said, "Send me some help. I am so hungry."

Little Ichijou saluted and then ran away. Miyako then panicked, trying to find help. She then said, "Damn it! I can't find anybody! Where's Rei, when you need her, like I care?"

She growled, "GRRRR! NO TIME!"

She picked up Ichijou, by the waist, but she had trouble lifting her up. She moaned, "Damn it! She's heavy!"

She threw her over her shoulder, as her forehead gleamed a bit, feeling energetic, "Studying can wait! Can't believe I said that… But our weird classmate needs medical attention!"

Ichijou moaned, "Aw… Cardinal carrier pigeon, on a smoky molasses night?"

Miyako ran off, with great difficulty, as she was trying to take her to the nurse's office. She stumbled and fell, as she moaned, dropping both Ichijou and her glasses. She groaned, "It's times like this that I wish I had super strength."

A voice called, "Need some help?"

A woman with long black hair, a white shirt, a yellow skirt, and big breasts, was towering over Miyako. She asked, "You need help bringing Ichijou to safety?"

Miyako huffed, "No, I'm fine, you witch… I don't need your help."

She found her glasses and said, "Ah, perfect."

Rei whispered, "Oh, please. In your peak body mass, a bookworm like you can't like a heavy girl like Ichijou."

Miyako roared, "QUIT CALLING ME THAT, YOU BITCH!"

Rei said, "Look. Do you want help, or not. I'm okay with NO, since it's nice of you to admit that you can help, all by yourself."

She smirked, as Miyako giggled, "Yes."

Rei pointed at Ichijou, "Grab her legs. I'll grab the shoulders."

The two girls lifted her up, with Rei holding Ichijou's shoulders, while Miyako was holding her legs. Ichijou kept saying gibberish, as Miyako said, "Can you take me to the nurse's office?"

Rei said, "Please. Becky will take care of this. Knowing Ichijou, she wouldn't have the nurse tend to her."

"I suppose you're right."

They head inside, as Ichijou's Little Sister returned, with a red doctor's bag. She then looked around, looking for her sister. She then turned to the 4th wall and showed a question mark on her notebook, saying that she doesn't know where she went.

"?"

* * *

(Theme to _Shoujo Q_ plays)

* * *

 ** _"Insert One Credit in the Fountain Blue"_**

* * *

Inside the school, Rebecca Miyamoto, a teacher from Class 2-C, with long blonde hair, done up in pigtails, and in a bright blue jacket, examined Ichijou, by moving her finger around. Ichijou was seated, as her eyeballs moved around, following her finger.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Becky asked.

Ichijou responded, "That is obvious. How many indexes am I holding up?"

Becky sighed in disdain, as she said, "Normal… No matter how you see it."

Rei remarked, "If you call _her_ normal…"

Becky was with her students from her homeroom.

Becky responded, "So, Miyako. You found her, on your way here?"

Miyako said, "Well, yeah. Ichijou's little sister assaulted her, and she just spouted nonsense."

Ichijou asked, "Nonsense? Nonsense. Perpetual nonsense."

Miyako replied, "On the plus side, it's her weird day."

Ichijou glared, "For me… it was a Tuesday…"

Miyako shouted, "IT'S MONDAY!"

Becky set it aside and said, "Well, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do."

A girl with brown hair said, "But don't you think you should find out what's wrong?"

A girl with short black hair and a cowlick added, "Miss Ichijou is acting screwy."

Miyako sighed, "Unlike you…"

Kurumi asked, "Becky, do you think there's a problem with Ichijou that might have-."

A girl with blue hair, done in huge pigtails, asked Becky, "I worry that there is a problem for Miss Ichijou. She's the upper-class class rep of the year."

Becky replied, "Well, it's out of my hair, on this one."

Kurumi sobbed, "What?"

Rei replied, "Come on, you're a little kid teacher. And a genius to boot. Surely you should've thought of something."

Becky huffed, "I'm going to ignore that response, only to reply to that theory. Normal people are like that…"

The girls said, "Normal?!"

Becky replied, as she was annoyed, "Don't question your teacher, like that! I _know_ what I am saying!"

Rei giggled, "Well, I was hoping you'd give her a check-up…"

Becky pondered, as Himeko asked, "MAHO! Is Ichijou not from here? I think it has to be some sort of weird alien species that obtain an innocent girl."

Miyako barked, "Don't act like you know what is not normal!"

They stared at her, as Miyako replied, in a blunt manner, "Aw, nuts."

Becky replied, as Ichijou was mocking her, from behind, "Well, I'm afraid we'll have to get the nurse on this one. Ichijou will have to be checked, in order to see what went wrong. If it is bad, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. After all-."

She turned to Ichijou, as she glared at her. Ichijou was sitting peacefully. She turned around and continued, as Ichijou mocked her, "After all, she is our friend and classmate. I'm going to call Miss Igarashi and-."

She turned to Ichijou, as she glared at her, again. She turned around and continued, as Ichijou resumed, "And we'll see what her condition is-."

She turned around and shouted, "STOP IT!"

Ichijou was seated, as she said, "I was sitting down."

Becky grumbled, "I have no idea what you're doing, but…"

Rei giggled, as she was amused, "It _was_ funny."

The girls laughed, as Becky growled, "STOP LAUGHING! I AM TEACHER, DAMN IT!"

 **XXXXX**

At the nurse's office, Ichijou was seated in the doctor's table, as a girl in a nurse's outfit was prepared to give her a check-up. She had long orange hair, and is wearing a pink nurse's outfit. She turned to Ichijou and said, "Okay, patient. Please say AAH."

Ichijou opened her mouth. She held up a tongue depressor and stuck it in Ichijou's mouth. Shiratori said, as she looked in her mouth, "Whoa! It's normal, how you look at it. But then again, I've never seen such a mouth."

Akiyama, a girl in short black hair, barked, "That's because you're not a doctor!"

Shiratori blushed, as she giggled, "Well, now, my assistant, we're going to conduct more tests."

Otome yelled, "I'M NOT YOUR ASSIS-!"

Shiratori said, as she held up a stethoscope, "Okay, let's check your heart."

Ichijou blushed and responded, "How sweet."

Shiratori placed the stethoscope on her own chest and said, "Hmm… Beating seems normal, and it has a conga beat to it. GO, SHIRATORI~! GO~!"

Akiyama cried, "You're supposed to check _her_ heart!"

Shiratori laughed, "Oops."

"OOPS?! You're a disgrace to the medical world!"

"Then, dog gone it, then?"

Akiyama snatched the stethoscope and barked, "Give me that!"

She examined Ichijou's heart and listened in, "Strange…"

 **Tick… Tick… Tick… Tick…  
** Ichijou's heart was ticking. Akiyama was puzzled, as she turned to her tall classmate, "Hey, Suzune, get a load of this."

Shiratori asked, "Huh? What is it?"

Akiyama cried, "She's not normal!"

Shiratori listened in, as Akiyama placed the end of the stethoscope on her chest. Shiratori listened in, as she heard computer sounds. As the sounds died down, she also heard a heart beating.

Suzune said, "So what? Her heart is fully fine."

Otome shouted, "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?! This Ichijou has a bad heart!"

Suzune said, "Ooh, she's not all bad."

"NO! I meant, AUGH! Forget it!"

She examined her heart again, but this time…

" _Hello! Welcome to K-E-R-O FM Radio! All Ichijou, All the time, Kero!_ "

Akiyama was shocked, as she cringed, removing the stethoscope, "A radio?!"

She shivered, "I must be losing it…"

Suzune hugged her, as she said, "Aw, there, there, Otome… I'll help you tone down your stress."

Akiyama barked, "If you're doing _that_ or _that_ , I'll kill you."

Ichijou then stood up and said, "Thank you. For examining me. I must be. On my way."

She left the nurse's office, as Otome asked, "What the hell is wrong with her? How could she pause and speak, like that?"

She called out, "HEY, WAIT! We haven't finished the check-up!"

Suzune started to jab her finger on Otome's head, repeatedly, and then called, "Then let _me_ do the check-ups for you, Otome!"

She kept jabbing, as Otome shrieked, "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

 **XXXXX**

Becky got the reports from the nurse's office, the following hour. She then read, "Hmm… It says here that her prognosis is normal… and her body can even pick up radio signals."

Rei remarked, "That's Ichijou for you. No matter what, she's always making weird stuff."

Becky said, "In any case, the reports showed that her heart was beating fine, quote, _like a grandfather clock that wouldn't die_ , end quote, and her breathing is normal, if you call it breathing."

The girls said, "That's _not_ normal."

Becky said, "Well, I don't know what to say. Maybe we should keep an eye on her, just in case."

She ordered, "But _not_ during class! Pay attention to _me_ , and not _Ichijou_ , while we are doing schoolwork. If you notice anything funny from her, inform me."

Miyako barked, "And why should we listen to you?"

Becky shouted, "DAMN IT, trust me! And _don't_ say anything to Ichijou! Got it?"

Rei said, "Yeah, whatever."

Kurumi said nothing, as #6 said, "Okay…"

Miyako replied, "Well, it depends on her status quo…"

Himeko cheered, "YAY~! We get to watch for Ichijou~! MAHOOOOO~!"

Becky sighed, as she slouched in her chair, "Somebody shoot me…"

She thought, "Huh? Wait. We need more help. Where's Mesousa?"

 **XXXXX**

At the vending machines, Mesousa, a small white rabbit, was calling to the huge blue vending machine, "Hello? Uh, I am here for some more _body heat_ …"

He placed a coin, with great difficulty, into the coin slot, and stepped back. As the coin was inserted, it suddenly started to shake. The vending machine sprouted mechanical arms and legs, standing up straight. A robot head popped up and boomed in a huge voice, "BEVERAGE!"

 **WHOOSH!  
** Rocket exhausts spewed out from the back, as Mesousa cried in horror. The vending machine flew off, as it headed to space. Mesousa looked up and sobbed, "And that was my last Yen coin…"

Lord Cat returned, holding up a live trout, "Well, imagine that. I go out, get me some lunch, and the next minute, my house flew away, nya."

Mesousa asked, "Uh… Sorry about that… Wait. You went to lunch?"

Lord Cat smiled, "It's body heat, nya."

Mesousa sighed in disappointment, "I don't get it…"

 **XXXXX**

Outside, that afternoon, the girls were swimming in the school pool. Everyone in 2-C was wearing their school swimsuits, including Ichijou, who was relaxing by the pool. The others watched on, as she was moving her legs, sitting by the edge of the pool. She was sitting quietly, moving her legs up and down, like she was posing in a summer shoot.

Miyako asked, "I don't get her. Why isn't she swimming?"

Ichijou was the only student in 2-C, wearing a pink swimsuit. Rei asked, "It's kinda weird, for someone who has radio signals from in her heart. But it's bupkis, if you ask me."

#6 was worried, "Poor Ichijou. She's the normal girl of the year, but it's abnormal of her to be in this condition."

Rei suggested that they'd ask her, as Miyako replied, "Okay."

They walked toward her, as Ichijou said, feeling her stomach, "I hope it has been 45 minutes…"

The girls of 2-C was shocked, "She just ate?"

Kurumi cried, "It's not even-."

Himeko cringed, "DID SHE HAD CRAB?"

Kurumi shouted, "But it's 11:15am!"

Rei replied, as she pondered, "Quite propounding…"

She asked her, "Hey, Ichijou."

Ichijou asked, "Hmm?"

"You feel okay now, after this morning?"

"Why do you say that? I feel okay, since last night."

"Last night? Okay… What did you do, last night?"

Ichijou then dove in the pool, as she swam off. Rei thought, "Huh? And she swam away, without a response."

Ichijou swam down, as #6 said, "She's good. I wonder if she can swim to shore."

Himeko called out, waving to her, "GODSPEED, ICHIJOU!"

Miyako sighed, as Himeko was actually waving at Miyako's forehead, "Pay attention, you cowlick idiot!"

Ichijou was still swimming, as Rei said, "She's awfully good. I hope she has time to breathe."

They waited for five minutes, as Ichijou was still in the water. They stayed, as Ichijou suddenly resurfaced, as she was floating like a dead body. The girls gasped in horror, as Himeko shrieked in horror.

"ICHIJOU'S DROWNING!"

Kurumi bluntly stated, "And she was down in the pool, for only 10 minutes."

Rei remarked, "A personal best."

Miyako called, "Hey, lifeguard! Get some help!"

A lifeguard, a boy in red attire, and with brown hair, noticed Ichijou and gasped, "Uh-oh! A floater!"

 **SPLASH!  
** He swam off, as Kurumi cheered, "Go for it, Shu!"

Rei asked, as she was puzzled, "Since when did he come here from Miss Igarashi's class?"

As Shu swam in, grabbing Ichijou's lifeless body…

 **XXXXX**

…deep in the darkness of space, a spaceship was watching on, over the earth, as three black aliens were overhearing Ichijou's problem.

The Alien Commander, the black with blue trim, said to the Captain, the one in red, with a pointy horn, that Ichijou, one of Becky's students, is acting weird.

The captain said, "Weird? Well, who doesn't act weird?"

The Commander said, "But, sir… This may jeopardize the mission. Surely, we know about the Ichijou girl."

The Lieutenant, in yellow, added, "Yeah. Lest we forget that you used to date this earthling, almost costing us the mission."

The captain said, "Ancient history… But those were good times. Anyway, what do we know about Ichijou, from Miss Miyamoto's class?"

The Commander said, "Well, I'm picking up some strange signals… deep within her."

The Lieutenant replied, "It's obvious something in a weird vibe… We need to stop this matter!"

The captain said, "No. We leave this one, alone… But, we'll step in, in case they try anything funny."

The commander protested, "But, sir! We're only here to observe Miss Miyamoto, not assist her!"

"Is that so? Have you forgotten about the mushroom alien that was in one of the girl's head, a while back?"

"Oh, yeah. She threatened to fill the world with spores of its alien race, before we obliterated it."

"Yes. I mean, we _did_ assisted Miss Miyamoto, all for her protection. Without her, there _is_ NO mission. And should we fail, what do we have left?"

"You may be right."

The lieutenant gasped, as he cried, "SIR! There's an unknown object heading towards us!"

The vending machine robot appeared, as it appeared in front of the spaceship.

It made a war cry, "BEVERAGE!"

The aliens screamed in horror, as the commander shouted, "MAYDAY! MAYDAY!"

 **XXXXX**

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Shu was giving Ichijou mouth-to-mouth CPR. He stopped, as he felt a taste in his mouth.

"Hmm… This is odd." Shu said.

Kurumi asked, "What's wrong?"

Shu said, "I don't know. I felt some sort of metallic taste in her mouth, when I did mouth-to-mouth."

#6 gasped, "Metal?!"

Kurumi shouted, "EW! Did you tongue-kissed her, Shu?"

The girls jeered, "OOOOOOOH~!"

Shu felt embarrassed, "Some lifeguard I became."

Ichijou woke up and asked, "Where am I?"

She sat up, as Rei was confused. She said, "Strange… She drowned, but has no implications of fatigue."

Ichijou then said, as she walked off, "I must go dry off."

Her long brown hair was flowing down, as she walked very slowly, and very glittery.  
 _NOTE: It's a slo-mo scene._

As she left, Rei asked, "Since when does she have her own slow motion scene?"

#6 sobbed, "So jealous…"

Miyako whispered, "And she walks in a sexy stance, with her hair flowing…"

Kurumi said, "She's obviously a show-off."

Himeko cheered, "I want long hair, too~!"

Rei yanked her wig off, showing her shorter hair, as she yelled, "You're a little late!"

Himeko bawled, as she tried to reach for her wig, "HEY! GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK!"

 **XXXXX**

Hours later, after class, Becky was shocked by what happened to Ichijou, from Rei. She asked, "Are you kidding me? She drowned, and she had no feeling?"

Rei said, "That's what we heard. And Kurumi isn't talking, since A) she accused Shu of tongue-kissing Ichijou."

Miyako stated, "B) Kurumi is just plain…"

#6 concluded, "And C) Ichijou's a marine diver of the year…"

Rei added, "Plus, that taste in her mouth was sort of a metallic taste."

Becky thought, "Metallic… Hmm… Maybe there's one conclusion to this. But I'm afraid that we'll have to investigate it, even further."

Rei asked, "So, who do we use to spy on her? Watanuki, again?"

Becky said, "No, then Ichijou may be onto us. In any case, I need two volunteers."

Miyako asked, "Who do you propose?"

Becky said, as she held a hand of straws, "We'll draw straws. The two with the shortest straw will join me. Here's the plan: we spend the night with Ichijou, and when she's asleep, we spy on her, seeing what she is up to."

Miyako then said, "I'll pass. I have to study, tonight."

Rei huffed, "Like you'd study, all day long…"

Miyako sobbed, "I'm getting there."

#6 stated, "Can we forget the straws? I can assist you, Becky."

Becky scolded, "Huh? You don't like the straws?"

Rei said, "Lemme see that…"

She grabbed her wrist, as Becky was crying, "HEY! LET ME GO!"

Rei saw that there were five short straws. She barked, "SO! You were using all of us, only to spy on Ichijou, on purpose!"

Becky said, "Look, I needed _all_ of your help. What choice do I have? I was going to have Rei go first, anyway."

Rei growled in anger, "I KNEW IT! You little…"

#6 calmed her down and said, "No, now, now. I'll take one for the team of the year."

Rei smiled, "You do that, #6?"

#6 nodded, as she smiled, "Yeah!"

Miyako said, "Then… I'll assist, too. But only because I found her, in the first place."

Himeko cheered, "Then, I'll join you, Miyako!"

Miyako then bluntly replied, "I changed my mind."

Becky said, "Good. Now, if there are no objections…"

Rei barked, "I got one! Since when do you have to volunteer _two_ people?"

Becky said, "Because… The fewer fatalities, the better."

They all gasped, as Rei shouted, in panic, "QUICK! Make a new batch of straws!"

#6 cried, "OH, GOD! I don't want to die!"

Himeko wailed, "I HAVEN'T TASTED CRABS, YET!"

They all panicked, as Becky sighed, "Are you kidding me, already? My students are all cowards…"

 **XXXXX**

As the litigation continued, Kurumi Momose was in the rabbit hutch, saddened, yet again.

" _Lalalu… Lalalu…_ "

A knock was made, as Mesousa asked, "Hey, have you seen a vending machine fly by?"

Kurumi asked, "Huh? What do you mean?"

A small explosion was made, from the sky, as Mesousa felt sad, "I wish I knew… what was going on…"

Kurumi sobbed, as she was crying, "I wish I met what was going on…"

She continued to cry, as Mesousa asked, "Why are you crying?"

A voice asked, "Excuse me…"

A girl with long black hair asked, "Yeah, listen. You said that there was a vending machine here?"

Mesouda nodded, "Yeah… and it was a giant robot…"

"I see."

Kurumi asked, "Hey, wait… Aren't you-?"

The girl stood in place and pressed a button on her gold bracelet. She then said, "You never saw me."

She started to grow large and shouted, " **MECHA POWER!** "

She grew at fifty feet, with her body turning into a robot. Her body and joints was of chrome metallic skin with blue LED eyes and pink lips. Her hair was still flowing black, and her clothes changed into her pink Pop Idol attire, with a purple hat and ribbon, pink blouse, and red skirt. Her legs were chrome white, as she stood in place, raising her arms in the air. She did a superhero tokusatsu pose and shouted, " ** _MECH-ASAHI!_** "

 **WHOOSH!  
** Mech-Asahi flew off, as Mesousa asked, "Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but did we have a cameo in this story?"

Lord Cat replied, "I'll correct you. You're wrong, nya."

 _Asahi Sakurai makes her cameo appearance. Like I said, Pani Poni makes weird stories._

* * *

 ** _To be continued…_**


	2. Chapter 2

That night, Becky and the rest of 2-C visited Ichijou's house, located in the corner of a sleepy city. Becky knocked on the door, as Rei said, "Now, remember, ladies, we cannot mention anything about Ichijou… yet."

Himeko replied, "Oh? What should we mention to her?"

Miyako said, "She means that we have to keep our mouths shut."

Rei responded, "Bingo."

Miyako smiled, "I knew it."

Becky barked, "HEY! Just because you guys are sleeping in Ichijou's house, it is NOT a sleepover. We're here for serious business."

Himeko giggled, "OH, BECKY! You're the best!"

"Will you _listen_ to yourself?"

The door opened, as Ichijou was present, dressed in pink and blue pajamas, wearing a black hood. She then said, "I was expecting you… Miss Miyamoto."

Becky huffed, "Please, no need to go formal, okay?"

 **XXXXX**

Hours later, everyone in their sleeping bag, as Becky was tired. She was exhausted, but she wanted to know where Ichijou would be going. However, she suddenly fell asleep. And minutes later, Ichijou sat up, mysteriously, and headed to another room. She went through the door, as she headed to another room in her house. All the while, everyone was sound asleep.

A couple more minutes later, #6 woke up, hearing mechanical noises, from below the house. She whispered to Kurumi, who was snoring, "Hey. Kurumi… Kurumi…"

She woke up, as she asked her, "What is it, #6?"

#6 said, "Well… I hear a noise… It's coming from downstairs…"

Kurumi sat up and found Ichijou's sleeping bag, empty. She said, "Drat. Ichijou just left… Could she be down there, already?"

#6 shivered, "I don't know, or don't care, but I wanna see…"

Kurumi said, "You wake up Becky."

"Okay."

"I'll wait by the doorway."

#6 nudged at Becky, who was sleeping quietly. She moaned, "Huh? What is it?"

#6 whispered, "Becky… Becky… Ichijou disappeared…"

Becky moaned, "Huh? Yeah, yeah. Sure."

#6 pleaded, in a quiet voice, "But Becky, I heard noises from downstairs, and she went there, too. I don't know what's going on, but I'm scared…"

Becky grumbled, "Mngh… Fine. I guess I should come with."

She asked, as she rubbed her eyes, "So, Ichijou went downstairs?"

#6 said, "I think she went to the basement…"

Becky mumbled, "Err… I think we should head down there."

"Shouldn't we wake the others?"

"No. No time. The sooner we find out the truth, the sooner I can get some sleep. It's a school night, #6!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Show me!"

She and #6 went to Kurumi, as Kurumi left the bedroom. She said, "Follow me."

They crept off, as they walked down the dark hallway. Becky then viewed a small light from a stairway, heading downstairs. There were grinding and sawing sounds, as Kurumi was shocked. She turned transparent, as #6 shivered, "What is going on, down there?"

Both girls were scared, as Becky said, "Well… I am not sure. But I bet Ichijou had an all-nighter planned. Well, she thinks she can-."

"Hey, wait." Kurumi said, "Didn't we know two of the signs of Ichijou? She has a ticking heart, and Shu tongue-kissed chrome."

#6 said, "It doesn't add up… It's the useless conundrum of the year."

Becky replied, "Useless, maybe… But this is Ichijou we're talking about."

#6 asked, as she went first, down the stairs, "What about the others?"

Becky said, as she followed, "They're fine."

Meanwhile, back at the bedroom, Rei started to wake up, as she rubbed her eyes. She moaned, "Damn it. I can't sleep, with all that racket, downstairs."

She viewed Becky's sleeping bag, and also Ichijou's. Rei growled, "Ichijou! And that little kid teacher went off, without me… The little brat!"

"Pui!"

"Huh?" Rei asked, "Who said that?"

Ichijou's little sister appeared, from in the darkness, holding up her red doctor's bag.

"Oh, it's you." She yawned, "What do you want?"

Ichijou's little sister approached her, as she held up a picture of a wrench. She then went closer, as Rei was nervous, "Uh, I should go see how Becky is doing…"

 **POW!**  
Rei landed on the floor, after Ichijou's sister pounced on her chest. She smiled, "Pui~…"

Rei was out cold, with her eyes open and her mouth curled up.

Meanwhile, Becky, #6, and Kurumi arrived at the basement. The door was already open, as Becky took a peek inside. She saw Ichijou, in a small room, lying on a metal table. Becky whispered, "Huh? What the heck is she doing, on a table?"

Suddenly, a mysterious figure in a white mask and black coat appeared, removing her pajama top. He unbuttoned her shirt, as Kurumi whispered, "No way… That creep is trying to make a move on her…"

#6 sobbed, "He's the perverted thought of the year…"

He opened her clothing, revealing Ichijou's metallic chest. #6 gasped, "Correction… A perverted robot thought of the year…"

Becky whispered, "No wonder…"

Kurumi asked, "Could it be that Ichijou is a robot?"

"My guess is… … …WHAT THE HELL?"

The man used a screwdriver and opened Ichijou's waist panel, revealing some circuitry, inside. He began to fiddle around with it, as Becky growled, "That jerk. He can't hurt MY student…"

#6 pleaded, "But, Becky, we can't scare him off!"

The man continued to fix Ichijou. He tweaked a screw, and Ichijou's left leg kicked up, pointing at the sky. He unscrewed the screw, as Ichijou's leg dropped, but the force of the fall snapped off her left leg, falling to the floor. The girls gasped, as #6 sobbed, "MONSTER!"

He grabbed a wrench and approached her right arm. Her arm sprung out, pointing upward, as he went to work. He used the wrench and disassembled her right arm and took it away.

Becky, in complete anger, shouted, "THAT DOES IT!"

Kurumi pleaded, "No, Bec-!"

Becky roared, as she kicked the door down. She cried out, "ICHIJOU!"

The man that was working on her suddenly disappeared. Ichijou was whole, as she was lying motionless, on the table. Becky asked, "Where did he go? And what happened?"

#6 asked, "Could it be that the sicko did all that for nothing?"

Kurumi replied, "I think it was another psych-out by Ichijou."

She went to examine Ichijou, by looking at her pajama top. She unbuttoned it, but Ichijou woke up. She sat up and asked, "Uh, Miss Miyamoto… What are you doing?"

Becky giggled, "Oh, uh… Nothing…"

Ichijou smiled and said, "Do forgive me, Ichijou."

Becky asked, "Uh, I'm Becky. Not Ichijou. You okay, Ichijou?"

Ichijou sat up and said, "I never felt better. My name is Ichijou. I am the class rep. I was standing up."

She walked off and said, "I'm sitting down."

Becky thought, "What the hell is going on? Have we been talking to a robot, all these years?"

Kurumi shivered, "That's _not_ normal… NOT NORMAL, AT ALL!"

She shrieked, as #6 ignored the shrieks, crying, "WHY HAVE WE WITNESSED A LIE OF THE YEAR?"

They both bawled, as Becky sighed, "At times like this, I'm better off having Watanuki join in."

She addressed to her students, "Look. As much as we wanted to stop this creep, Ichijou's our friend, either way. I say we never speak of this, again, at all. But I need to know more, myself. For now, we should go back to bed."

Kurumi and #6 bowed, "Okay…"

They left, as Becky noticed a dossier. She then grabbed it and whispered, "Of course, no one must know, but me…"

She hid it in her blouse and added, "I'll read it, in the morning. But knowing Rei, she'll try and take it from me… the bully."

 **XXXXX**

(Kurusu, in a white chicken outfit): IT'S THE NEXT MORNING!

The next morning, Becky placed the dossier that she found in her suitcase. She then said, "Good. No one must know."

Himeko cried out, "MAHO! BECKY!"

Becky hid the briefcase, and shouted, "WHAT? I didn't have anything on me!"

"It's not that! SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH REI! SHE'S DEAD!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?"

She ran with Himeko, as she continued, "Last night, I had a peaceful dream about crabs, in a huge buffet, and I wanted to share it with Miyako, but she just got mean to me and hit me with a pillow. Then, I asked Rei about it, but she said nothing. I went closer and saw her face, which was all dead-like, and she-!"

Becky shouted, "You cowlick idiot! Why didn't you say anything, last night?"

Himeko asked, "Maho?"

They saw Rei, who was out cold, with her eyes open, like a rag doll. Miyako panicked, "This is bad… Rei was spazzed out. It's got to be a nightmare she had."

Kurumi whispered, "Is she dead?"

#6 sobbed, "I can't take it… Rei's the contortionist's nightmare of the year…"

Ichijou asked, "Is something wrong?"

Becky asked, as she glared at her, "YOU did this… DID YOU?"

Ichijou bowed and walked off. She said nothing, as Becky thought, "This is ridiculous…"

Miyako cried, "What'll we do? Can we revive her?"

She then concluded, "All in favor of leaving her like this, say "AYE!"."

She raised her hand, as Becky smiled, "AYE!"

Himeko and Kurumi joined in, "AYE!"

Rei closed her eyes and blinked. She moaned, as she was groaning, getting up from the floor, "Aw, man, what a night…"

Miyako growled, "AW, DAMN IT!"

Becky sighed in relief, "Oh, goodness… Thank god you're okay."

Rei said, "Yeah… Why were you worried about me?"

Becky laughed, "Oh, no. Never mind. We thought Ichijou might've killed you, for some reason…"

Rei said, "Yeah, right. Anyway, did you find out what went wrong?"

Kurumi whispered to #6, "Ixnay on the obotray Ichijouay…"

Rei asked, "Huh? Something wrong?"

Kurumi giggled, "Oh, no! NO! No! It's merely a weird moment…"

#6 giggled, as she added, "Yeah… Another one of Ichijou's phases…"

Rei snuffed, "I see…"

She got up, as her right eye started to twitch. She then said, "Listen, I need to wash up. We have to go to school."

Miyako asked, "What time is it?"

Ichijou said, "It is 5am."

The girls gasped, "5am?!"

Becky thought, "Since when was it 5 in the morning, already?"

Kurumi looked at her watch and said, "Huh. She's right."

Himeko smiled, "YAY! An early breakfast, everybody!"

She cheered at Miyako's reflected forehead, as she shouted, "LOOK where you are CHEERING, MORON!"

Miyako said, "Look, we'll just get cleaned up, get dressed, and head straight for school."

Ichijou disappeared, as she left a note. It said, " _Don't wait up, honey. XOXOXO Ichijou._ "

Miyako and Kurumi gasped, "She already left?"

Becky said, "Well, now that Ichijou's gone, I'm afraid I have news about Ichijou, from last night."

Miyako walked off, as she snuffed, "Who cares? It's obviously another fake-out."

Himeko pranced away, as she cheered, "Maho~! Maho~! Maho~!"

Becky called out, "Hey, wait!"

Kurumi said, "Either way, they wouldn't believe you…"

#6 sobbed, "But we believe you. We were there."

Becky smiled and said, "Thanks."

The rest of the girls left, as Becky looked at her briefcase. She thought, "I wonder…"

 **XXXXX**

(Kurusu, on top of the school building): IT'S HOURS LATER, AT SCHOOL!

Meanwhile, at Momotsuki Academy, Media, a girl with light green hair and a maid outfit, was walking down the path, as Behoimi, a girl in her summer uniform, with black hair and glasses, was on the bench, sitting motionless. She asked Behoimi, "Hey, Behoimi? What's wrong?"

Behoimi asked her, "Oh, hi. Media Maker."

"Media Maker?! You okay?"

She sat up and said, "Not to be rude, but I feel chipper than usual."

She spoke like her Soothing Magical Girl alter-ego, and cheered, "I am so refreshed, today! I want to jog, today!"

Media cried, "THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU, BEHOIMI! You even sound like the Magical Girl I was hoping you'd become, one of these days!"

Behoimi spoke normal, and asked, "Oh, okey-dokey. What do you ask me that, all the time?"

"I miss your soothing magical girl look…"

"I keep telling you that-."

Mesousa interrupted them and asked, "Uh, excuse me… But where are the vending machines? I was out, all night, finding one… but-."

They both said, pointing left, "That way."

Mesousa said, walking off, "Thank you."

Media said, "Anyway, you should become the soothing magical girl, again. There's something going on in this school, and I think we need Behoimi's help!"

Behoimi cheered, "The Soothing Magical Girl is retired! But I am offered to help, in any way! A Magical Girl never-! AAH! What's wrong with me?"

Media slapped her, as Behoimi shook. Media yelled, "SNAP OUT OF IT! You need help!"

Behoimi shook her head, jerking back and forth, "Me-M-e-e-e-ee-Me-me-m-em-edddd-ia…"

"Huh?"

"Medi-Medi-Medi-Medi-Media… What is wrrrrong with mememememe?"

Media carried Behoimi in her arms and shouted, "OH, HELP US, HEAVEN!"

She dashed off, in a frantic state, as Behoimi cried out, "HEY! Where are we gooooo-ing? Put-ut-ut-ut-ut me dow-ow-own!"

She hid behind a corner and placed her on the wall, facefirst. Behoimi asked, "What are you doing?"

She lifted her uniform top up and saw a chrome plate on her back, above her hip. Media cringed, as she was scared, "Behoimi… Did you always have a metallic plate on you?"

Behoimi said, "Just the one on my head, back at the war. Why do you ask?"

Media was concerned, as she opened her chrome plate, showing a small dial, which was set to _Plain and Normal_. Media, without hesitation, set it to _Soothing Magical Girl_. She giggled, "Tee-hee."

Behoimi changed into her pink uniform and pink hair, in an instant flash, with her dark pink hat on, as she gasped, "HUH? What just happened?"

Media whispered, "Whoa… Mondo cool…"

Behoimi beeped, as she posed, "That's right! The great soothing magical girl has arrived! You can call me Behoimi! I am the soothing magical girl!"

She posed again, as she cried, "Never fear, citizen! Justice will triumph! Now, let us dispense into battle!"

She kept posing, as Media was amazed, but was also upset, "This is getting boring, too fast."

She turned her around and turned her off. Behoimi slurred, as she bowed down, with her arms rigid. She lifted Behoimi up and said, "Now I know what's going on… THIS Behoimi is an android! But… I think I need expert advice!"

She ran off, carrying the prone magical girl robot in her arms.

 **XXXXX**

Meanwhile, in Becky's break room, she opened the dossier and found some interesting articles about Ichijou's schematics. She then said, "It makes no sense. This doesn't make any sense… seeing it was written in a weird language."

It was written in an alien language. Becky couldn't read it, but she could understand the pictures. She then concluded that Ichijou was created, as a way to make the school more interesting, as it is. But she was rather confused. Just then, a knock was made, as Becky put the dossier away. She called, "Yes?"

Media barged in, screaming, "EMERGENCY!"

Becky shouted, "AAAH! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Media sobbed, "It's Behoimi! She's-."

Becky said, "Nurse's office, downstairs! Now, would you please leave me alone?"

Media wailed, "But, Becky… It's not an illness! Behoimi's a-!"

"Look, I don't care what you have… Right now, I'm very busy with my own prob-!"

She looked at Behoimi's black eyes, as she was motionless. She whispered, "Another one?"

Media sobbed, as she was crying, "Poor Behoimi… If I knew this would happen, I'd stop forcing you to-."

"Oh, stop crying and get in. Maybe I can fix this."

She let Media in and locked the door, with a sign that says " _Busy – DO NOT enter_ ".

* * *

Inside her break room, Becky examined the Behoimi Robot, as she asked, "Since when did you find her?"

"Earlier," Media said, "And the worst part was… her body can interchange with a flick of a switch."

"Well, where is it?"

Media showed the knob, as Becky gasped, since it was in Media's hand. She said that it broke off. She giggled, as Becky mocked her giggling, "Eh-heh…"

Media sobbed, "That was awkward."

Behoimi beeped, as she was on the table, "I Am… The Soothing Magical Girl! You can call me Behoimi!"

She twitched, "Beho! Beho! Beho!"

Media sobbed, "I'm scared…"

Becky grabbed the knob and barked, "Well, it's your own fault, you destructive maid!"

Media bowed and sobbed, "Sorry…"

Becky found her control panel and switched it back to _Plain and Normal_.

Behoimi changed back, as she spoke, "I am the soothing magicaaaaalll… girrrrrrrr…"

She wound down, as Behoimi changed back to normal, with her black hair and uniform. Becky sighed, "Amazing… I always thought it was cosplay. Guess not. I never knew the transformation was real."

Media asked, "So, now what?"

Behoimi woke up, as she asked, feeling dizzy, "Ungh… What happened?"

Becky said, "I'll explain, later. Right now, I need your help. Here."

She showed the dossier of the Ichijou Robot, as Media asked why Ichijou is a robot. Becky said that she needed expert opinions from two of the most intelligent women in the school, since they helped her with the bomb situation, a while back, _twice_. Behoimi said, "Well, it appears to be a written alien language. Maybe we can decipher it, while we see what we can do."

Media replied, "And if that fails, we can sell her for spare parts."

Becky walked off and said, "You do that."

Media asked, "Where are you going?"

Becky said, "I have class, shortly. Just be finished, when you're done. See you in a couple of hours. I'll give Old Geezer my regards, on your absence."

She shut the door, as Behoimi scanned through the book, "Okay. See what we know about this Ichijou girl."

Media said, "Wow. Who knew that Ichijou was a robot, all along?"

Behoimi said, "It doesn't add up. Maybe we need to skim through the pages, and learn more of this predicament."

She looked through the pages, as she gasped, "No… No way. Media, look at this…"

Media looked at the pages, as she gasped, "Are you kidding me?"

Behoimi said, "Yeah. I'm afraid it's more than that."

They saw a page of Japanese names on the sheet. It even listed many names, including _Ichijou_ , _Rei Tachibana_ , _Akane Serizawa,_ and others they knew.

Media whispered, "But what could it mean?"

Behoimi said, "I think we'll let Becky know, firsthand. She'll be back."

Media asked, "Hey, Beho, do you think that _your_ name is on there?"

Behoimi barked, "OH, DON'T BE SILLY!"

She looked at the page and gasped, seeing her name on there. She whispered, "No… I'm… Impossible!"

Behoimi ordered, "I won't believe this, one bit! There's no way I am, or have been replaced, or was modeled to be a robot! Not a chance!"

Media pouted, "I wouldn't be so sure…"

Behoimi asked, "Huh?"

 **XXXXX**

At class, Becky was relaxing in her desk, as everyone was studying. Becky moaned, "Remember to write down everything on the board."

She thought, as she was angry, "I had to use my stool, myself… Where the hell's Mesousa?"

Outside, Mesousa found a black vending machine, with pink and purple buttons. He thought, "Huh? This looks new."

Lord Cat appeared and said, "Oh, look. I found a new home."

Mesousa asked, "Your home is a vending machine?"

"My home is everywhere, nya."

"I don't get it."

"Well, come on. Let us go in."

Mesousa sobbed, as he was scared, "What?"

The Lord Cat pressed the button, and the huge vending machine opened, like it was a garage door. Mesousa gasped, "No way…"

Smoke poured out, as Mesousa and Lord Cat gasped, seeing what was inside, "WHAT THE WHAAAAA?"

Lord Cat said, "Let's… go back inside, nya."

Back in 2-C, Becky was resting, as Rei moaned, "What a headache, yesterday…"

Miyako whispered, "You seemed rattled, since that night. You want to tell me what happened?"

Rei asked, "E-yeah. But first, why's Serizawa over by the doorway?"

Becky called out, "Rei, what is going on?"

She pointed at the door, as Serizawa was in a sleek chrome pink cardigan, with a metallic yellow uniform on. She beeped, " _I am Serizawa 2000_. _Peeko!_ "

Becky huffed, "Go back to class, Serizawa."

Serizawa said, "Negative. I am here to observe _Ichijou_."

Becky thought, "Grr… Do I have a choice, now?"

She said, "Alright, alright. But when the bell rings, go BACK to class, Serizawa!"

Serizawa bowed, as she walked to Ichijou. Becky thought, "I wonder if Serizawa knew… and for that matter, why didn't Old Geezer warn me?"

She noticed her back, and saw a huge back panel on her. She gasped, "No… Not her, too… That's the third robot, today!"

Himeko cheered, "MAHO~! Maho~! Look! Serizawa is tending to Ichijou!"

Rei huffed, "Please, she's obviously trying something funny, like always."

Kurumi sighed, " _Lalalu… Lalalu…_ ", without being transparent.

Serizawa asked Ichijou, "Will you offer my assistance, Miss Ichijou?"

Ichijou nodded and said, "Affirmative."

She stood up, as Becky cried, "HEY, WAIT!"

She shut the doors and roared, "Where do you think you're going, in the middle of class, Serizawa? Ichijou?"

Miyako barked, "Oh, leave her alone! DON'T CALL ME A WORM!"

Rei said, "I didn't say a word, Bookworm."

Himeko smiled and laughed, "Maho~! Maho~! Maho~!"

Kurumi sighed, " _Lalalu~! Lalalu~!_ "

Becky shouted, "KURUMI! REI! MIYAKO! HIMEKO! Knock it off!"

But it was too late. Miyako shouted, "Grrr! Damn it! Damn it! DON'T CALL ME A WORM! Wait, where's Ichijou going, anyway?"

Rei beeped, "Who ca-ca-cares? You little kid teacher!"

Becky cried out, "DON'T CALL ME A LITTLE KI-! Wait, what?"

Himeko giggled "Omega Maho~! Maho~! This is Omega awesome-some-some~! MAHOOOO~!"

#6 said, "Oh, dear… This is the weird news, of the year, of the year, of the year…"

The girls in 2-C started to act funny. Becky gasped, "Uh, Serizawa? Did you do this?"

Serizawa beeped, "Peeko! Peeko! Peeko! Peeko-ko-ko-ko-ko-ko-ko-ko-ko-ko-kokokokoko-!"

 **BOOM!  
** Becky shrieked, as Serizawa's head popped off. She trembled, as the girls kept speaking, in loops. The other students ran off, as Becky ordered, "GET OUT! NOW! Class dismissed, or whatever!"

The classroom was empty, as the rest of the girls kept going in loops. Ichijou stood in attention, as Serizawa's headless body was sparking a bit. Rei kept beeping " _Little Kid Teacher_ ", as she was whirring left and right, Miyako waved her arms around, shouting " _Don't call me a worm_!", " _Damn it!_ ", and making growls, Kurumi was on the desk, slouching, singing " _Lalalu_ ", again and again, #6 kept saying " _…of the year_ ", and Himeko spun around, singing " _Maho~_!", " _Omega…_ ", and " _I like crabs!_ ", as she was spinning out of control.

Becky cried, "Ichijou! Is this YOUR DOING?"

Ichijou turned to Becky and spoke, "I am Ichijou. The Class Rep. I am Ichijou. The Class Rep."

Becky shrieked, "AAAH! It's like a domino epidemic! They're ALL ROBOTS!"

Rei beeped, as she went to Becky, in a robotic motion, " _Little kid teacher. Little kid teacher. You get peach! You get peach!_ "

Himeko spun and beeped, " _MAHO~! Cute Becky! Jet Omega~! Crabs awesome!_ "

Becky bawled, as she ran to the curtain, hiding, "HAU! HAU! HAU! MAKE IT STOP!"

As she cried in the curtain, Miyako's arms flew off, as she kept screaming, "DAMN IT! DAMN IT!"

#6 bowed, continuously, as her head fell off, " _…of the year. …of the year._ "

Rei went to the doorway and collided into the wall. She stepped back and continued to walk forward. Himeko stopped spinning, as she crashed into Serizawa's headless body. She collapsed, breaking the body and herself, into pieces. Himeko's head rolled over to Becky, as Himeko beeped in a baritone, " _Becky~!_ "

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Becky shrieked, as she ran away.

She cried out, "ROBOTS! ROBOTS EVERYWHERE!"

She hid behind the door, as she waited, "This is nuts! How many of them are there?"

As she hid, the robots started to slow down. Rei dropped to the floor, moving in a walking motion, Miyako started to catch fire from her head, Himeko already died down, #6 stopped bowing, and Kurumi remained in place. She slowed her singing down, " _La… la… lu… la… la… laaa… laaaa… luuuuuuuu…_ "

She powered down, as smoke emitted from her. Rei was motionless, as she stopped moving. She slurred, as smoke emitted from her body. The carnage of a malfunction has ended, as Becky returned to the classroom, feeling scared. She shivered, "It's… It's not true… I was worried about Ichijou, but-."

Ichijou beeped, as she was slurring, "I am… Ichijou… ichijou… Ichijou…"

Becky barked, "Aw, shut up!"

She thought, "But this? This is nuts… How can this be true? My classmates, and possibly all the girls here, not counting Miss Igarashi, are robots?"

She looked at Rei's motionless body and said, "Well, at least _you're_ a malfunctioning mess, you bully."

She chuckled, until…

 **SPROING!  
** Rei's left eye sprang out, in front of Becky. She shrieked in terror, running back to the curtain, crying.

"WAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH! DAMN YOU, ROBOTS FROM HELL! I'M A TEACHER!" She yelled, while bawling, "WHERE'S MESOUSA WHEN YOU NEED HIM?"

 **XXXXX**

Meanwhile, outside, two women, dressed in pink and purple tight-fitting spandex, with long purple hair, appeared to Mesousa and Lord Cat.

"HEY! I called dibs on that place, nya!" Lord Cat complained.

The twins bent down and said, in unison, "Awwww… how cute…"

Lord Cat blushed, "Who me? Aw, I wouldn't say that, nya. It's just my body he-."

Yuma then said, "Shall we cuddle with you, little bunny?"

They grabbed Mesousa, as he asked, "What, me?"

Yuna said, "Come on, cute bunny…"

They walked off, carrying Mesousa, as he pleaded, "Hey, wait! What are you doing? HELP!"

They shared a cuddle with Mesousa, as the vending machine closed. It transported away, as Lord Cat was shocked.

"Uh… What happened now?" He thought, "Those bimbos took _him_ and not _me_."

He sighed, "Well, there goes my new home, nya."

* * *

 ** _To be continued…_**


	3. Chapter 3

At Becky's break room, that night, Behoimi and Media were confused, as they learned of why the girls were created. Behoimi deciphered the language and said, "Oh, boy… This isn't good. In fact, the reason they were created is to simulate human life."

Media asked, "But do they have unique personalities?"

Behoimi said, "I'm afraid so… Each have each equal trait… Look at this… Kurumi Momose – _Boring and Plain_ ; Sayaka Suzuki – _Cute and Playful_ ; Rei Tachibana – _Sexy and Bitchy_ ; Whoa, wait a minute! Misao Nanjo?! She's in our class!"

Media replied, "And she's working fine…"

Behoimi said, "You may be right. But I wonder what happens if they knew of their personalities and identities, if they meet, firsthand?"

A door opened, as Becky rolled in with pieces of chrome body parts, along with heads of her students, in a wheelbarrow. She stated, "Care to explain THIS?"

She showed the spare parts, as Behoimi and Media gasped, "Holy-!"

 **XXXXX**

On the table, parts of Rei, Miyako, Serizawa, and Himeko were on the table, as the leftover parts were in a wheelbarrow.

Media said, "Oh, dear… I knew this would happen. But where's Ichijou?"

Becky stated, "I had her dismantled, too. Of course, she took herself apart, following the mass malfunction."

Behoimi asked, "Uh, quick question, why are they all mixed up?"

Becky shouted, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF THEM THAT FELL APART? I had to bring them all in!"

Behoimi said, "Well, for what it's worth, we could see which part is which, so we can fix each of these robots…"

She stated, "But first, there's something you should know about these girls."

Becky asked, "Yeah?"

Behoimi explained, "I know how it happened. It all started with a corporation called _"Penguin_ "."

Media gasped, "NO! You mean the village that created a lifelike robot girl?"

"No. I meant the bird, per se."

Becky shouted, "Wait… Penguins made these girls?"

Behoimi explained, "Well, no. _Penguin_ is a machine that creates lifelike sentient women that can change their personality, with a turn of a dial. See, they wanted to create the _perfect_ girl, a high school girl, to be exact, with its many traits and features, which are perfect in moé _and_ academics. But there was a flaw to the system, and the girls became their own independent selves. In other words, the girls you see here are P-Girls, spreading their unique and individual robotic human personality to anyone they see contact with."

 ** _NOTE:_** _See that? A pseudo Resident Evil reference parody, there._

Media huffed, "That's a load of fluff."

Behoimi said, "Oh? That's not what the dossier said, after I deciphered it. But I suppose you have a different theory?"

Media said, "I do."

She spoke in a serious voice, "It all started… when the factories decided to replace ALL the high school girls with artificially-enhanced gynoids. Once created its batch of 50 girls, pretty soon, the entire city will rule over a robot girl rule… All we can do… is pray."

Becky and Behoimi prayed, as Media smiled, "Nah, I'm just kidding. It's obviously the _Penguin_ thing."

Becky huffed, "What a dick…"

She said, as she grabbed Rei's head and upper torso, "Well, I'm going to find which part is which. Once I have the upper body fully functional, we should be able to begin testing."

She reattached Rei's head and thought, "Still… _Penguin…_ Rei couldn't be from that place, right?"

She gasped, "But that must mean… Ichijou… What could it mean?"

Rei started beeping, as she suddenly reactivated herself, " _You little kid teacher. Little kid teach-teach-teach-teach… Little… Kid teacher… Kid-kid-kid-kid-kid…_ "

Becky deactivated her, as she moaned, "It's getting worse…"

She called, "HEY! You two! Perhaps you could help me reassemble these guys, before things get wilder."

Media picked up Serizawa's parts and said, "Hey, Behoimi, maybe we could be six-arms."

Behoimi sighed, "Stay serious, okay?"

Becky finished up reassembling Rei, as she opened her waist panel. She said, "Now, let's see what we can work with…"

She found a small black know, set to _Sexy Vixen_. She then turned it to _Sweet Stuff_. "Sweet stuff?" Becky thought.

Rei reactivated herself, as she approached the small teacher. She whispered to her ear, "Hey, there, little one… You're so cute…"

She placed her head into her bosom, as she giggled, "You have the cutest hair…"

Becky moaned, "Uh, Rei, lemme go…"

She thought, as she was upset, "I'm better off having the _old_ Rei. But then again, if she breaks down and died, it's a win-win for me. That way, she wouldn't pick on me, anymore."

She turned Rei off, as she slouched down. Becky replied, "Well, I think I'll keep you, for further testing."

Media said, "Hey~! We have gotten about two students halfway done!"

Media and Behoimi have already finished the upper halves of Miyako & Himeko. Kurumi's lower half was already finished. As for the rest of the parts, they were still mixed together. Becky placed Rei on the table, as Behoimi held #6's head, "Who knew these girls fit perfectly, like LEGOs?"

Media said, "Not me…"

She felt exhausted, as she finished attaching Himeko's arms. She moaned, "I'm so tired… I don't feel well…"

Behoimi asked, "You okay, Media?"

Media nodded off, as she groaned, "Man… Who knew rebuilding robots was tough?"

Becky switched Rei back to _Sexy Vixen_ , as she said, "Well, if I want to have Rei fixed, it's best for her to be herself. And I'll regret it, too."

She scolded at the robot, "One bad move on your teacher, and you're scrap iron, you penguin bot! And you reek of fish!"

Rei beeped, as she was in a monotonous voice, "Yeah. Yeah."

She then tested Rei, pressing her little red buttons, as she started speaking, "Hello. I am Rei Tachibana. Chinese cooking has good firepower. It's all about coming in, natural…"

Becky said, "Speech patterns seemed normal… And as for her limbs…"

She stood Rei up and started to move around, walking in a normal motion. Rei stopped, as Becky said, "Okay. It's time we give you a response… Rei, give me orange juice!"

Rei beeped, "You get peach."

"But I don't want peach! I want orange!"

"I get orange. You get peach."

Becky sighed, "Same ol' Rei."

She deactivated her and said, "Perhaps maybe I can make a few adjustments to her, before I can reactivate them all."

She tweaked in her circuitry, as Media fell on one knee. She moaned, "Beho… I feel… dizzy…"

Behoimi picked her up and said, "You get some rest."

Becky asked, "Hey, Behoimi, do a test on Miyako."

Behoimi asked, "Really? But her legs aren't attached."

Becky said, "Make due with them, later. For now, try her speech patterns."

Behoimi sighed, "Oh, okay…"

 **XXXXX**

Meanwhile, in the rabbit hutch, Yuma and Yuna cuddled with Mesousa, who was between the robot girls. Yuma whispered, "You're so fluffy…"

Yuna giggled, "And your ears are so long…"

Mesousa wasn't in bliss. He was somehow confused and rattled. He asked, "Uh, isn't it necessary to cuddle with me, in here?"

Yuna tickled his tummy and said, "Oh, don't be a spoilsport, bunny. Say… You're plush and soft."

Yuma sat up and said, "Yeah… How about you and I have a cuddle-bunny session?"

Mesousa gasped, "WHAT?"

Yuna ranted, "But, Yuma, I want to cuddle her."

Yuma said, "Fine. But I tend to use my fingers on his cotton stomach."

Yuna replied, "And I'll sniff and smell his cute head and nose."

Yuma said, "We'll cuddle his cotton stomach, first."

Yuna said, "We'll sniff him, first."

"Cuddle."

"Sniff."

The twins argued, "CUDDLE!"

"SNIFF!"

Yuma yanked Yuna's hair, as she yelled, "CUDDLE!"

Yuna punched her chest and yelled, "SNIFF!"

They continued fighting, as Yuma ripped her pink cloth off, as Yuna raked her eyes. Mesousa cried, "WAIT! You guys! Stop fighting!"

Yuma ripped most of Yuna's suit off, as Yuna started to rip off most of her skin, revealing chrome skin. Yuma then ripped off Yuna's face, exposing her circuitry, as Yuna slashed off a part of her abdomen. They continued to claw and fight, as they kept arguing and yelling, while Mesousa was shocked, seeing the Kashiwagi Twins destroying each other, in a robo-catfight.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" He cried.

After the skirmish ended, Yuma and Yuna were in pieces, all over the rabbit hutch, with arms, legs, and their heads, and pieces of metal and chunks of synthetic skin, all around the rabbit hutch. Mesousa was saddened. Both robots were in pieces, without responding to Mesousa's sobs.

"Guess it wasn't meant to be… I'm always out of luck…"

He left the rabbit hutch, as Lord Cat glared at him, "I saw what happened, nya…"

Mesousa shivered, "No, it's not what you think!"

Lord Cat winked, as he said, "Good one for the team, little buddy."

Mesousa asked, "Huh?"

 **XXXXX**

Minutes passed, as they continued testing each girl. Becky started testing #6 next. She pressed a button, as she beeped, "It's the sure shot of the year."

She started walking in a robotic motion, as Behoimi tested Miyako's growling functions. Her face showed no anger, as it was only a test run.

"Grrr…"

Media, who was dizzy, started to dance around, as Himeko was being tested next, with her cowlick fastened on. Himeko beeped, " _Hi-Fi Ahoge online… Status of Unit:_ JET AWESOME~!"

Becky thought, as Himeko's arms twirled a bit, "She's working fine… Wait… Her cowlick is a wireless adapter?"

Behoimi then put together Serizawa, as she beeped, "I am Serizawa 9000… Error… 3000… Error… my model number is insufficient."

Behoimi asked, "You have got to control yourself, Serizawa!"

Serizawa whined, "Why me?"

She gasped, "HUH? HEY! What is this? Why are my arms and legs on the table? I'm not your mannequin!"

Behoimi pouted, "You're not…"

She turned her off, as Behoimi stated, "Her human functions are A-OK. _Penguin_ spared no memory track on their human emotions."

Finally, they tested Ichijou, the source of the matter, as she was walking in place, and then stood in attention. Ichijou beeped, "I am Ichijou. The class rep. I am for World Peace."

Becky smiled and said, "That's about it…"

They checked through ALL the robot girls… except for one. That was Kurumi. She was in a bin, as Behoimi said, "Well, that did it. The robots are in working order. But it feels like we're missing one."

Media then said, as she was prancing a bit, "So lifelike… So realistic… So _Penguin_ … We are so lifelike, as girls…"

Behoimi asked, "Hey, Media, you okay?"

Media giggled, "3 times 3 is 6… Reno is the capital of Rando… George Carver was the first United Leader…"

She continued speaking in nonsensical words, as Becky asked, "Don't tell me!"

Behoimi grabbed her and shouted, "MEDIA! MEDIA! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"

Media moaned, as she lightly smoked, "Oh, Behoimi… We need that soothing magical girl, again… Please… Bring her in, before I fizzle out…"

She buzzed, as she regained her smiled, "Oh, I wish… I wanted Behoimi… soooooooooooooooooo…"

She slowly slurred, as Becky said, in complete annoyance, "I think it was pretty obvious. Behoimi, did it say anything about her name on that dossier?"

Media continued to trail off, shutting down, as Behoimi looked at the dossier, "Hmm… It's in alphabetical order… No. Media's not on that list."

Media slurred down to nothing and was shut off, completely. Behoimi cringed, "OH, NO! She's died down! Man, I wish I should've given her the chance… if I cared! I promised myself that I didn't come to this!"

Becky asked, "What'll we do? We can't recharge her… These _Penguin Robots_ don't need a recharge."

Behoimi said, "Oh, yes, they do. You go on home. I'll take care of the rest."

Becky said, as she went to the door, "Okay, then… See you tomorrow."

She shut the door, as Behoimi removed her maid outfit, revealing her chrome robot skin. Behoimi then said, "Forgive me, pal… But I can't have you die, not after everything we've been through. Plus, I know how to recharge these _Penguins_. I only hope that _it_ won't happen, before Monday."

 **XXXXX**

(Kurusu, up on the roof): What could it be? What is _it_? It's now Sunday!

 **XXXXX**

Becky plugged each girl in, in a multi-socket HDMI port. Behoimi said that the _Penguin_ Robots all have to be recharged by an HDMI port, or else they will not be fully charged. Becky said, "It's weird, even though I do not have an HDTV or anything."

Behoimi smiled, "I do. Why do you think I worked out at boot camp, long ago?"

Becky huffed, "You never went to boot camp…"

She then adjusted Kurumi, who was put together, as she concluded, "By the way, thanks for reminding me about Kurumi. I knew we forgot her. She's so plain that we forgot."

Behoimi said, "Well, I had her checked, before they are all set. Once they reach 100%, we deliver them to the classroom. And no one, not even _it_ will ruin this moment."

Becky asked, "It?"

Behoimi replied, "We're lucky it didn't happen… not before _it_ happened, long ago, after the first development of the _Penguins_."

Media was plugged in, as she was lying on the table. Becky asked, as she covered Media's body with a tarp, "Behoimi, what is _it_? Does it have anything to do with the girls' behavior?"

Behoimi said, "It's a bit fuzzy, but I saw it with my own eyes."

"Wait! You knew what it was?"

"Yes… for some reason."

She explained, "It… It's actually I.T., standing for _Ichijou Technician._ Weird the name it may be, but she is responsible for making the Penguin robots become what they are. They are hidden technicians, each with its own agenda of making sure the robot girls stay responsive and to know well of their fellow Penguin. Only four were hired to watch over the _Penguin_ prototypes, but by the time the project was closed, they disappeared, without a trace."

Becky asked, "And how do you know all this? Is it because _you're_ a robot, too?"

Behoimi stated, "My name may be on the list, but I am not sure… I have no clue why it happened. Media's name wasn't on the list, and look at her, now."

Media was still recharging, as she was beeping. She then beeped, with response, "Behoimi… Why?"

She powered down, as Becky asked, "Hmm… Say, why did you know all about the _Penguin_ situation?"

"Would you believe that I was a technician in the project?"

Becky then turned her around, as Behoimi cried, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Becky pulled her shirt up and spotted a metal plate on her back. She yelled, "Not a _Penguin_ robot school girl? EXPLAIN _THAT_!"

Behoimi looked in a mirror and gasped in horror, "No… It can't be true… I'm a robot, too?"

Becky said, "You know everything, because _you're_ one of _them_! Now, confess! Why did you replace my students with robots?"

Behoimi groaned, "I don't know! It's been so long! The project shut down, after a failed attempt to create the perfect High School girl… But it seems that our projects were brought here, by mistake. Momotsuki… BZZT!"

She beeped, as she rebooted, "It's very easy, Becky. I was created to become one of the maintenance drones to the _Penguin_ project, but there was a snag, and the OS in our hard drive acted up, and we acted as sentient people. However, only most of the female class had become sentient, while a tad few remained as part of the failed project. The girls we are, over here, except Media, were among the original designs for _Penguin_ , spreading our P-Virus to everyone that came in contact with. We only do that, to make sure no one knows about us, in a certain and unique way."

A voice called, "That is quite enough, Behoimi."

Becky gasped, as Ichijou's Little Sister appeared, standing on Media's body. She turned to Media, as Meidia asked, "Oh… What do I owe the pleasure, little one?"

Ichijou removed her HDMI cord, as Media slurred, " _Meeeeediiiiii…_ "

She collapsed, as Ichijou's Little Sister spoke, in a deep voice, "You've done enough, unit B. For this, you shall be reprogrammed."

Behoimi gasped, "No… It's I.T.!"

Becky gasped, "Wait… It can talk?"

The little Ichijou pulled out a small remote and pressed a button. Behoimi froze in place, as she started beeping in a robotic voice, motionless and standing straight, "I am the soothing magical girl…"

She spoke in a loop, as Becky cried, "This is insane! _You're_ the same technician that created your sister?"

Ichijou's sister said, "Yes. And you have peered into our secret, long enough. Despite your meddling ways, it's too late. The _Penguin_ project failed, after we tried to make the girls perfect, even my own sister, Ichijou. She was the perfect girl, but she was anything, _but_ perfect. Pobody's nerfect…"

Becky asked, "Huh?"

The little one said, "It's a codename for _Nobody's Perfect_. But it is safe to say that these girls are perfect, thanks to you."

"Me? Why is that? All they do is hug me, torture me, scare me, try to rip on me, and even disobey me! These stupid girls have no right to become like that, after-. WAIT! How did you know about me?"

"I know you _much_ , Rebecca Miyamoto. In fact, I recall meeting you, for the first time, when you and my robots were cleaning the pool."

"That was a cheating way by the adults…"

"Either way, you had to make them work, but you were simply abused by making them angry, by doing _your_ work. When I heard wind of it, I rushed by and helped. However, it appears that the girls were giving good advice… even since you were in a break room, as Sis said. I am amazed that, even through your help, after a giant bully came by, and you used a giant robot to stop him. You even had Kurumi wanted to stand out. But it seems that a robot can dream. Do not worry. Kurumi will get hers, one day… That was very innovative of you, when Kurumi was excited for being in a suit and helmet."

"I said we'd forget about it, but I never knew she'd remember."

"Yes. Of course, we wanted to test-run a fembot that can fight in a tokusatsu film, but I guess I saw that a female Pink Lightan just flew by, which has already been done. So, we put that on consideration…"

Becky growled, "Okay, I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but I want to know why you created these monsters, only for your academic endeavors!"

Ichijou's sister said, "Ichijou, since the first day you came, wanted to learn more about you, after the last teacher quit his job, during last year's semester. The truth is… he was traumatized, after he learned the truth about the girls."

"And the other teachers?"

"Not a clue. They just didn't know, or care, for that matter."

"So, you mean, only 2-C has the robot girls from the failed project _Penguin_?"

"Exactly. Well… Classes 2-C and 2-D. However, Nanjo and Miyata are not robots we created. Only Behoimi and Serizawa. Media, well… She was a freelance android."

She jumped up and kicked Media's head off, as it dropped to the floor. She barked, "Piece of junk poser! She's not in _our_ databanks! When news of _her_ coming in, I had to make a stand. So, I stuck around, staying with Sis, and to make her and her friends work in 100% efficiency… until today… when the mass malfunction came to pass, as they started to short out, after an incident, in which _you_ did, the other night. You knew of our secret, but they shorted out, on their own. Seems that, after all that time, it overloaded their memory banks."

"Blame Serizawa! She stepped in, acting like a fembot!"

"No… Serizawa meant to do it, as she made everyone, including Rei, Miyako, and Himeko, malfunction, in order for you to learn more of Penguin. Serizawa's P-Virus came into play."

Becky shouted, "STOP SAYING P-VIRUS! GOD! They're robots, not zombies!"

Ichijou's sister pouted, "Sorry… But that's how we say it."

She then said, as she reached for her bag, "So, anyway, you knew of our secret, I'm afraid that we'll have to dispose of you."

Becky shouted, as she ran off, "Like hell I will!"

 **BEEP!  
** Becky's legs froze, as she was stuck on the floor. She felt her legs and cried, "WAUGH! WHAT DID YOU DO? Don't tell me… _I'm_ a robot?!"

Ichijou's sister smiled and said, "No, you're not. Thank Himeko, last night, for adding some tranquilizer nanobots, in case you tried to run away from the truth."

Becky growled, "Damn you… You cannot win…"

Ichijou's sister said, "Oh, no?"

She held up a small radio and ordered, "Robots! Strip down!"

They responded, as they stood in attention, removing all their clothing, revealing chrome silver parts. Becky was shocked, as she gasped, "No way… Is _that_ how a _Penguin_ robot would look like?"

Ichijou's sister said, "No, they're not like that. That is only their exoskeleton, in which I can make them shift their synthetic skin, into brand new skin. You see, during a late Sunday night, my I.T.s and I visit each of the robots' house, with a GPS device, and we order them to repair themselves, along with readjusting their features and skin. They don't last forever, you know. We always fix them, in the dead of night, and there _are_ about 13 of these _Penguin_ robots, here… including your bitchy friend, Rei, who – spoiler alert – was about to be reprogrammed into your own slave maid robot! Hmm?"

Becky shivered, as the robots marched off, "No, I was… uh, I was only kidding! I mean, she never gave me orange juice, but just peach! She's such a bully! I HATE PEACH JUICE!"

Ichijou's sister replied, "I see… And you always get scared by her menacing eye attack, which freaks you out. To be honest, that part of her system was _not_ in the original design. But it showed results, so I let it stand."

She continued, as she placed a small device on the floor, as she placed a small ray gun, pointing at Becky. She then said, "Well, I'll take it from here, since it's almost nightfall. I shall rebuild the robots, including that fake maid, Media, is it? And then, by tomorrow morning, they will not be malfunctioning, again. Trust me. I know how it goes."

Becky asked, "What will you do to me?"

Ichijou's sister said, "Well, since you wanted to help out, instead of destroying my creations, I decided to spare you… but I _will_ erase _everything_ you knew about the _Penguin_ project, and the events that started, during the sleepover. You see, I always repaired the girls, if something went wrong. Ichijou, last week, as sitting by the pathway, but her circuits had halted. It seems that her body was weakening. But Miyako, who was sentient in her human form, brought her here to you… And that was when I observed you, until the time was right. It seemed well, until you found our secret failed files."

Becky sobbed, "Please… I'm a teacher! You can't hurt me!"

Ichijou's sister said, "Forgive me, but it's the only way. Besides, I can't dare remove you from existence, after what you've done to them…"

She added, "Like the time you wanted to cheer Kurumi up, after you called her _Boring Girl_."

"Look, that was on my second day, and I instantly forgot their names! I was new in the teaching job!"

"Or… how about the time you removed Himeko's Cowlick Adapter?"

"I was angered, since I had a cowlick, from _bed hair_!"

"Or… what about when you used my Serizawa Robot to pose as you?"

"That was when the PTA wanted to observe me! I didn't want to have them perform on _me_ , now can they?"

"OH, YEAH? What about the time you thought Miss #6 was in a relationship, when it turns out it was admiration towards the human, Igarashi? Or the time you had your entire class quarantined from the _Peach Moon Virus?_ Or when Himeko had a mushroom on her head, controlled by an alien? YES! I scanned that fungus!"

Becky nervously trembled, "Uh… Are you… How did you even know about me? You're crazy!"

Ichijou's sister pressed the button, as the LED lights flashed orange and yellow, as she concluded, "Yes, doubt me… But it's the horrible truth. The sad reality is… you have known the secret… and you must _never_ find out. _Penguin_ cannot be breached from the outside world, or the world would sink to chaos. Imagine, having a school of robot high school girls, and on the local news, too. Think of the perverts, the parents, and even the single high school boys that wanted a date. They must never know… The world you live in… this place… is your own personal dream of teaching my robots to become human, but not perfect. It is all a simulated class you have, in your own personal hell… or as I call it…"

She spoke in a baritone, " _Momotsuki Acaaaaaadeeeeemyyyyyyy…_ "  
 **ZAP!  
** "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-."

Becky's body fell to the floor, frozen and stiff, as she was motionless and cold, with her face making a huge surprised look of horror on her face. Ichijou's sister smiled evilly and said, "Pui~!"

* * *

The next morning, Becky woke up from her bed and yawned, looking at the alarm clock, "Damn it… This sucks…"

She looked at the clock, as it said 7:00am. She then moaned, "Another day, another class to teach…"

She called out, "Hey! Mesousa! Mesousa?"

She ranted, "Damn it! Where is he?"

She got up from bed and huffed, "Oh, who cares? Stupid rabbit…"

 **XXXXX**

The following hour, Becky, in her long blonde hair, wearing a red blouse and short jeans, was walking to school, as Rei called to her, "Hey! Becky!"

Becky huffed, "What do you want?"

Rei said, "Hey, about the other day, with Ichijou, we jumped to conclusions and we wanted to apologize to Ichijou. Here. We all pitched in and have ourselves a little juice break, before school starts."

She held up some cans and said, "Here. What would you like?"

Becky cheered, "I want orange!"

Rei gave her a can and said, "Here. You get peach."

Becky griped, "But I hate peach! I wan-! Huh?"

She noticed that the cans all had orange on them. For some reason, Becky was surprised by Rei's sudden change. She took the can and said, "Fine."

Becky giggled, "Lucky break!"

She walked off and said, "Get to class soon, Rei. School will be starting, soon. Also, buy more of these for lunch, later today. I think I want more _peach_."

Rei bowed and said, whirring down, "Yes, Miss Miyamoto."

She walked off, with a click in her step, twitching from her left eye.

Yes, it seems that Ichijou's little sister erased everything that occurred, since Becky found out about Ichijou, the robot girls, and the organization, _Penguin._ But the robots of 2-C remained normal, since it was in their programming. Peace was finally restored, as Becky continued her days in _Momotsuki Academy_.

Becky took a sip of her orange juice, but…  
 **PTOOOOOO!  
** She spit it out, in a spit take, and roared, "WAUGH! This isn't orange juice! This juice is too hot!"

She coughed, as she gagged, as Ichijou walked passed her, without looking at her. She then beeped, as Becky was fanning her mouth, "I am Ichijou, the class rep. BZZT! …class rep. BZZT! …class rep. BZZT! …class rep. BZZT! …class rep. BZZT! …class rep. BZZT!"

She twitched a bit, as Becky didn't pay attention to it. Ichijou's sister was in her backpack, as she winked, "Pui~!"

Becky cried out, "WATER!"

She gasped, "AAAGH! She's going to buy more?"

She dashed off, as she screamed, "REI! NO! WAIT! FORGET WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE MACHINE! STAAAAAAAAAAHP!"

Meanwhile, Mesousa and Lord Cat were sitting where the vending machine that flew off, once stood. They were on a blanket, having body heat-temperature sodas, as Lord Cat said, "You know what, nya?"

Mesousa asked, "What?"

Lord Cat remarked, "Maybe those girls that fondled at you weren't real… like the others I just met, last night, during a huge malfunction, nya."

Mesousa sipped his soda, as he asked, "What was it?"

"Maybe they were robots."

Mesousa said, as he was sad, "I just wish I'd believe you… because it's sad, because it's true…"

Lord Cat sighed, as they sipped their sodas, "I guess you're right, nya. I miss my old home, nya."

As they continued to sip, a shadow grew over them. It grew bigger… and bigger… and then…

 **SMASH!  
** It landed on both animals. It was a huge blue vending machine, which came from space. The door opened, as Lord Cat was in glee, having his soda.

"I'm home. I'm home, nya. Hooray!" He smiled and said in a joyful tone.

Mesousa, however, was crushed from under the vending machine. His small legs wriggled, as he muffled, "Uh… Hello? I can't breathe from down here…"

* * *

( _Moonlight Love_ plays)

* * *

 ** _The End_**

* * *

Up in space, Mech-Asahi was fighting off against the huge vending machine robot. The robot called out, "BEVERAGE!"

Mech-Asahi shone her eyes and fired twin lasers at it. She cried, "CUTE EYE BEAM!"

 **BLAST!  
** The robot was singed, as Mech-Asahi held her wrists up, "Now, you outdated can of carbonation! Prepare yourself!"

She beeped, as she produced a huge black boxing glove. She charged at the machine and called out, " _Mech-Asahi Special Slugger Attack –_ _ **K-O-Bu!**_ "

 **BOOM!  
** The robot was socked in the face, as it plummeted down to Earth. It disappeared into the globe, letting out a small twinkle in Japan. Mech-Asahi grabbed a can of soda that was floating in space and thought, "Huh? It's warm. I should have the guys look it up. But first…"

She whirred to the alien ship, as the Alien Captain cried, "AAH! M-M-M-M-M-M-Mech-Asahi!"

The Alien Commander shrieked, "OH, NO! SHE'S GOING TO KILL US!"

Mech-Asahi floated towards the spaceship, and then asked, "Hey! Excuse me? Is anyone on board, in there? Which one of you guys know how to get back to AAW HQ, from here? My GPS scanners are not responding, and I seemed to be far away from my home. I cannot pinpoint the building."

The Alien Captain shuddered in fright, as the Commander whispered, "Just say NO, sir…"

The captain wailed, as he was bowing to Mech-Asahi, "PLEASE! DON'T HURT US, MISS TRANSFORMER! We'll take you back, if you don't destroy us! Pleeeeeease!"

Mech-Asahi asked, "Huh?", as she was confused.

* * *

 ** _Mistaken identity…  
_** (Alien Commander): Wuss.

* * *

(Ichijou, voice-over): Hello. I am Ichijou, the class rep. Hello, I am Ichijou. Class Rep. I am Ichijou… Hello, I am Ichijou… BZZT! Hell-ll-ll-ll-lo, I am-m-m-m-m… BZZT! _Error! Ichijou Robot system error_ … My name is Ichijou-! BZZT! Ichijou-! BZZT! Ichijo-! BZZT! Help me, Becky Miyamoto… You're my… fried takoyaki…  
I am Ichi-Ichi-Ichi-Ichi… BZZT! **POP!  
** (Noises made, as smoke was hissing)  
I am Ichi… Ichi… joooooooooooooooooooooo…

(PA; voice-over): _Ichijou Drone has been damaged; Repair Bot 09MP, please report to broken drone, at once._

* * *

 ** _Miz-K Note:_** _You may notice that this fic has a bizarre ending. However, there are TWO alternate endings, befitting to the Pani Poni series. If you'd like, PM me to see two possible endings.  
NOTE: I'm saving THESE alternate endings for everybody, in a separate fic, as a showcase for alternate endings, coming soon._


End file.
